5 Ways to Tell if You’ve Become the Bride You Said You’d Never Be

Bad news, guys.  I’ve been engaged all of 2 months and already I’m starting to see that wedding planning changes a person. I once thought that I could never earn the title of Bridezilla and that I would be “so chill, you don’t even know.”  I was wrong, and here are the things that opened my eyes:

1. The times you used to talk about the weather, you now use to talk about your wedding.

Maybe you thought you weren’t going to be the girl who tells the cashier at the grocery store about how your venue visits are going, and yet here he is hearing all about how maybe the space is too small for the number of people you planned on but oh em gee is it just so perfect. You will get so used to friends and family asking you about your wedding plans that the topic is going to spill over in to other, inappropriate situations.  Your mailman, nail tech, McDonald’s drive through person are all perfect targets for your wedding small talk.  Your poor coworkers (who you probably wont invite) are going to get the brunt of the situation.  Waiting for everyone to get to your meeting?  Chat up the early birds with wedding minutiae. This is your life now.


2.  Your social media accounts are rife with clandestine wedding related posts.

What looks like an innocuous cocktail Instagram pic is paired with “Margs with my bestie after doing some wedding planning! (all the emojis)”  Maybe your MOH tags you while you are visiting a venue.  You make a ring holder in ceramics class and share a pic on Facebook.  You don’t say that it’s going to cradle your new rock, but your sudden interest in jewelry organization makes it pretty clear. It’s all there, if only you are looking for it.

3.  You’ve already cried, and not tears of joy.

Real talk:  I cried at brunch with Alex a few weeks after we got engaged.  I was overwhelmed by my family turning their noses up at the fact I was thinking of getting married in 2017 vs 2016, I was getting teased for my wedding theme, and he was giving me a tough time about something I can’t remember.  I am sure their hearts were all in the right places, but the moment Alex slipped a ring on my finger I felt a huge pressure on my shoulders and I didn’t want to disappoint.  I got over it pretty quickly and the date and theme are still going full steam ahead.  You don’t think the pressure will get to you, but it got to me over a piping hot breakfast skillet and a side of pancakes.

4.  Your decision making skills are leaving something to be desired.

I used to make decisions with laser focus.  Choices? Boom! Decision.  Now I can’t choose between 2 very different venues. It has gotten so bad that I have had to make 2 trips, with 2 different groups of people so I could poll them.  One of my venues is 3 hours away.  I’m being an insane person.  This is an illness only cured by signing a marriage license.

garden wall

5.  Despite all the pressure and drama you’ve said something along the lines of, “I wish I could have 2 weddings.”

Maybe all the Pinterest browsing has inspired you so much that you can’t decide which theme you want (see #4).  Your mind has been so perverted that what seems logical is, in fact, completely illogical.  You start to lose sense of what is normal anymore.  The idea of paying extra for nicer chairs (when perfectly fine chairs are included in your venue) seems reasonable to you.  If you, like me, are stuck between 2 venues you are absolutely prepared to work out every pricing detail for both venues to determine which is actually the most cost efficient.

If any of these apply to you, it’s ok.  The thing about being engaged and planning a wedding is that they are both temporary stages of your life.  After it’s all over, you will be married and maybe things will settle down.  You’ll return to your previous state of chill.

As for me, I know Alex is ready to help me see some perspective and my friends are ready to help me achieve whatever crazy DIY project I’ve concocted.  I get to marry the love of my life and I’ll probably have a super wonderful wedding.  I realize now that just because it’s made me a little crazy doesn’t mean it’s any less meaningful.

It’s Real Real

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted and there are a million reasons why (most of them out of my hands), but as this blog is mostly for me I wanted to write a little update.   I considered a slew of perfectly predictable post titles like, “He Must Have Liked It,” or, “We’re Going to the Chapel,” but I thought I would reach back a few years and pull an obscure quote from a show that I say all the time.  Because that is what Alex and I do.  We have spent the last 6ish years quoting with each other, and it looks like we will be for the foreseeable future because….

He put a ring on it and we’re getting married!


The whole thing was adorable and perfectly us and I love him forever. I really can’t wait to be married to him.  Between this big news and some other super fun house related progress, there will be some posts coming up soon!

Week 1: How I Did and Goals

Mondays are going to be my weigh in days and that naturally lends itself to the day I reflect on how I did over the last week.  Weighing in everyday would very likely turn me into an insane person.  Maybe I would if I got one of those fancy scales that updates your weight once you step on, just because of the fanciness of it all. But, let’s be honest here, I don’t have the money for that. SO every Monday morning I’ll stomp down the stairs in my pajamas and step on my cheap Target scale and peer at the numbers with my sleepy eyes and type it into my app.  I did amp myself up enough to step on the scale this morning and I was greeted with good news – I lost 4.4 lbs! It did feel nice to know that I was moving in the right direction even if half of that is really water weight.  I am still struggling to even come close to my step goal, but managing my calories paid off this week.

Speaking of goals, there are a lot of individual goals that make up The Big Goal.  In a vague sense, my goal is get healthy.  But what does that mean?  Mostly it means that I need to lose weight.  I also need to get more fit and I’d like to have all my PCOS symptoms go away. By setting smaller, daily (or weekly) goals, I will be able to achieve The Big Goal.  At least, that’s the idea.  I have a lot of weight to lose.  It’s a number so large it seems insurmountable.  Ridiculous even. To keep myself from getting overwhelmed or disheartened by it’s largeness, I set a smaller goal.  I would like to lose 25 pounds by the end of May by averaging a 2 pound weight loss each week.  When you weigh as much as I do, a 2 pound per week weight loss goal is not crazy.  If you weigh 150 and your ideal weight is 145, doing that in 2 weeks might actually be really hard and not sustainable.  As much as I’d like to think that I can take on this weight 25 pounds/3 months at a time, that ratio will probably change the closer to my goal I get.  Even that is too much to worry about right now.  It’s only been one week and I’m taking it a day at a time.

Every day, all I focus on are these goals:

Water – 90 ounces.  I like to get a minimum of 64, but my doctor recommended I be trying to aim for about 90.  It’s not as hard as I anticipated because I try not to get any calories from my beverages and ordering water when you are out saves money.

Calories – 1500-2000. I know that seems like a wide margin, but I try to let my FitBit guide me.  It gives you an approximation of how many calories you’ve burned vs how many you’ve eaten.  So if my day is more on the sedentary side, then I eat less than a more active day.  The app has a cute little speedometer graphic that tells you if you are within the ideal range.

Steps – 10,000.  I haven’t hit this goal more than 3 times since I’ve gotten my FitBit, but I’ve definitely improved my average number.  I want to always get more than 5,000, but my real goal is 10,000.

I focus on hitting these goals each day, or doing my best.  I don’t want to get bogged down by the prospect of my larger goals. I am confident that if I keep myself on target daily, I will achieve those  goals down the line.  It seems strange to me that after all of the false starts I’ve had, this time feels like the real deal.  It’s all finally clicking now.

What are your daily goals?  Have you ever felt something “click” like this? 

I Made it a Whole Day

Good news, guys. I mostly did ok yesterday.  I did not hit my steps goal, but I did stay within my calories AND got in all my water.  It seems lame to get excited about stuff like this, but I’m going to cling to this FitBit app until I either die or create new habits.  What are those habits going to be?  I don’t know what will stick, but here is my game plan for today.

6:30 AM

Alarm goes off.  Groggily roll over and turn it off. Go back to sleep.

7:15 AM

Second alarm goes off.  Pick up phone and diddle around on the internet.  Realize I never set my FitBit to sleep mode last night. Not sure what to do with the sleep information anyway. Keeping internetting.

7:28 AM

Sister walks in and clearly sees me on my phone.  She still acts as if I’m asleep and yells at me to wake up.  I calmly explain how bitchy she is being. She gets in the shower. I resign myself to not having a morning shower.  Afternoon shower will have to do.

7:45 AM

Sister opens the door. I haven’t moved any muscles except those that help me scroll through Facebook. Sister is livid. She storms off.

7:52 AM

I make my way downstairs, fully dressed and ready to go.  Grab LUNCH I PACKED LAST NIGHT and the bag of groceries I need for work. We are sure to be late.

8:40 AM

Late to work.  No one says anthing. Work work work.

9:00 AM

I eat the oatmeal I keep in my drawer at work.  Apparently breakfast is important.

Sometime between 9 and 10 AM

I add a food to FitBit’s database.  Wish adding food on the app was more straightforward.  They should call Lose It and find out what they are doing.

10:50 AM

Decide to write this post.

10:59 AM

Realize this post is probably boring or weird, but continue writing.

12:00 PM

After a meeting, go downstairs and eat lunch at my desk.  Also, do “work.”

1:00 PM

Leave the building for my official lunch break and see how many 1 mile loops I can make in 45 minutes.  Lust after the cool houses in the neighborhood around my office. Resign myself to being #foreverpoor.

Walking During Lunch - SuburbanFervor

1:45 – 5:00 PM

Do more “work.” Obsessively check FitBit despite knowing that nothing has changed because I’ve been sitting the entire time.

5:00 PM to Whenever I Saunter Up to Bed

Drive home. Try to determine if I can have the new Evol street tacos I bought last night and some kind of strategic dessert.  Pace around my house until I hit 10k steps.  Try to convince Alex to either walk the dogs with me or get him to do some kind of chore.  Probably do none of these things and binge watch the first season of The Unbreakable Kimmie Schmidt again because Alex hasn’t seen it.  Sink into bed and dream about weird shit, like always.

The take aways from this very strange post are that I packed a lunch for work (something I haven’t done in a while) and that I’m going to walk a bunch at lunch.  The weather in Chicago is supposed to hit 60 degrees so I’ll be going on my first lunch walk of the year.

Please, Help Me with This Horsecrap

Hi, my name is Katie and I have a problem.

It’s an eating and laziness problem. Here’s the thing: I love to eat a lot of food and have little to no perseverance.  I also have a condition called PCOS.  I honestly don’t know if that contributes to my weight gain or my weight contributes to it.  Either way, I’m not doing everything I can to combat it.  Also, I am fairly certain that I’m teetering on the edge of this causing other serious health problems.  Before, I was just contending with it being inconvenient to go clothes shopping.  Now, more physical activities are getting difficult and I’m beginning to realize that I’m not filled with boundless abilities like I was as a teenager.  So this all needs to change, that much is obvious. How, though?  Please don’t start in with the, “eat right and work out.”  That much is also obvious.  The question is how do I go from hella overweight to healthy specifically? What works and what doesn’t work?

Here are the things I know that don’t work:

  1. Assuming I’m going to get enough physical activity during my current average day.
  2. Eating whatever I feel like, consequences be damned.
  3. Not talking to people about my goals.
  4. Not keeping track of how I’m feeling.
  5. Not reaching out to people who have been in my shoes and got out of this lifestyle.

Since I know these things don’t work, I can’t keep doing them.  I think, to begin, I should try doing the opposite.

  1. Start pushing myself to get in more activity.  I weigh a fricken boatload.  I don’t really feel comfortable sharing the exact number right now, but trust me when I say it is higher than any human should weigh.  This leads me to believe that jumping into an intense work out regimen would probs be kind of bad for me.  I have a FitBit Flex that I wear almost all the time.  Spoiler alert: I’m going to be wearing it all the time from now on.  I’ve been using it for almost a year and I honestly really like it.  It keeps pretty accurate measure of how many steps I take and how well I sleep.  The starting step goal on it is 10,000.  I’ve hit or exceeded that number exactly 3 times. My goal is to hit 10k steps a day for the next 3 months.  If you use FitBit in any capacity, feel free to add me! A requirement for me to do my job is to be sitting pretty much the whole day and the competition is a great motivator.

    Using FitBit to get a hold of my lifestyle.
    Using FitBit to get a hold of my lifestyle.
  2. Oh, food, you fickle bitch.  I love eating and trying new food and I’m never going to be one of those “clean eating” people.  It just isn’t realistic for me.  First off, this is America.  Also, I live in the Midwest.  Third, my neighborhood is off of a stretch of road called Restaurant Row. Great food literally surrounds me in large quantities and I’m not interested in completely letting that go.  That being said, keeping on with what I’m doing would just be damn stupid.  I have a few strategies that I am going to start implementing to try to curb the ridiculous food habits I have. Most importantly, way way way less eating out. Which brings me to my next point, because I never go out alone.Setting weight loss goals and being realistic about achieving them.
  3. I need to draft a team.   You think I’m the only person in my house who needs to reconsider their lifestyle? No, honey. I need to tell the people around me about the changes that are happening and why they are happening.  We all need to be a part of prepping, cooking, and shopping for food.  We all need to let me browse through Target/Ikea/The Mall as long as I want so I can get my steps in. Gone are the days of instant gratification.  I need them to be there for me when I really want some super delicious deep dish pizza.Eating right realistically.  Can I do it?
  4. Maybe instead of eating my feelings about eating my feelings, I could just blog about it.  Like, “Oh man, I couldn’t find a dress to wear and I’m really upset,” instead of eating a doughnut.  This cyclical shit is aggravating.  I feel a little better just for having written that here. I feel a lot better by having written everything above this sentence.  Putting it out there in the world and working out my thoughts here is pretty therapeutic.  I know the internet is judgy, but let’s just be better here, ok?Setting realistic goals and achieving them.
  5. As much as people love to say how fat America is, the truth is that there are a ton of people out there dedicated to fitness and health.  Many of those people have been where I am now and have turned their health around.  I need those people leaving me tips and being my sherpas through what will hopefully be the most challenging part of my life.  Because on those days when you’ve worked so hard for something and you feel like the results aren’t there (and I’ve experienced this) you need the person who worked through it to tell you that not all is in vain.

In my quest to pursue these goals, I’ll be trying a bunch of different stuff and I’ll be posting it all here (and probably some stuff here and some real time stuff here). Do you have suggestions? Have you been where I am now? Talk to me!