Bad news, guys. I’ve been engaged all of 2 months and already I’m starting to see that wedding planning changes a person. I once thought that I could never earn the title of Bridezilla and that I would be “so chill, you don’t even know.” I was wrong, and here are the things that opened my eyes:
1. The times you used to talk about the weather, you now use to talk about your wedding.
Maybe you thought you weren’t going to be the girl who tells the cashier at the grocery store about how your venue visits are going, and yet here he is hearing all about how maybe the space is too small for the number of people you planned on but oh em gee is it just so perfect. You will get so used to friends and family asking you about your wedding plans that the topic is going to spill over in to other, inappropriate situations. Your mailman, nail tech, McDonald’s drive through person are all perfect targets for your wedding small talk. Your poor coworkers (who you probably wont invite) are going to get the brunt of the situation. Waiting for everyone to get to your meeting? Chat up the early birds with wedding minutiae. This is your life now.
2. Your social media accounts are rife with clandestine wedding related posts.
What looks like an innocuous cocktail Instagram pic is paired with “Margs with my bestie after doing some wedding planning! (all the emojis)” Maybe your MOH tags you while you are visiting a venue. You make a ring holder in ceramics class and share a pic on Facebook. You don’t say that it’s going to cradle your new rock, but your sudden interest in jewelry organization makes it pretty clear. It’s all there, if only you are looking for it.
3. You’ve already cried, and not tears of joy.
Real talk: I cried at brunch with Alex a few weeks after we got engaged. I was overwhelmed by my family turning their noses up at the fact I was thinking of getting married in 2017 vs 2016, I was getting teased for my wedding theme, and he was giving me a tough time about something I can’t remember. I am sure their hearts were all in the right places, but the moment Alex slipped a ring on my finger I felt a huge pressure on my shoulders and I didn’t want to disappoint. I got over it pretty quickly and the date and theme are still going full steam ahead. You don’t think the pressure will get to you, but it got to me over a piping hot breakfast skillet and a side of pancakes.
4. Your decision making skills are leaving something to be desired.
I used to make decisions with laser focus. Choices? Boom! Decision. Now I can’t choose between 2 very different venues. It has gotten so bad that I have had to make 2 trips, with 2 different groups of people so I could poll them. One of my venues is 3 hours away. I’m being an insane person. This is an illness only cured by signing a marriage license.
5. Despite all the pressure and drama you’ve said something along the lines of, “I wish I could have 2 weddings.”
Maybe all the Pinterest browsing has inspired you so much that you can’t decide which theme you want (see #4). Your mind has been so perverted that what seems logical is, in fact, completely illogical. You start to lose sense of what is normal anymore. The idea of paying extra for nicer chairs (when perfectly fine chairs are included in your venue) seems reasonable to you. If you, like me, are stuck between 2 venues you are absolutely prepared to work out every pricing detail for both venues to determine which is actually the most cost efficient.
If any of these apply to you, it’s ok. The thing about being engaged and planning a wedding is that they are both temporary stages of your life. After it’s all over, you will be married and maybe things will settle down. You’ll return to your previous state of chill.
As for me, I know Alex is ready to help me see some perspective and my friends are ready to help me achieve whatever crazy DIY project I’ve concocted. I get to marry the love of my life and I’ll probably have a super wonderful wedding. I realize now that just because it’s made me a little crazy doesn’t mean it’s any less meaningful.