SSC: Selfies and Body Image

It probably doesn’t surprise anyone when they hear that weight gain or obesity are often accompanied by self image and confidence issues.  For me it has always been a cycle of one causing the other causing the other.  The most contentious symptom of all of it is that I hate and often refuse to get my picture taken.  This issue is what the people in my life focus on the most.  I have maybe 3 pictures of my boyfriend and I together in 5 years. I hate family photos.

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In an effort to slow/stop the cycle of self-loathing leading to eating leading to more self-loathing, I have been trying to take more photos with me in them and sharing those pictures with friends and family.  This happens mostly in Snapchat because the pictures aren’t going to anyone I don’t want and they can only be viewed for a short period of time.  I’ve occasionally Instagrammed a photo of myself, but they make me nervous.

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I don’t think I’m going to become some Kim Kardashian level selfie taker, but so far I’ve gotten noticeably more comfortable with having my photo taken. I’m hoping that this little confidence boost will curb some of my emotional eating problems.  I know what I’m doing when I’m doing it.  It’s kind of like emotional turmoil that I’m indulging in, but simultaneously indulging in food.  Merica.

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This is my little attempt at healing some psychological issues, but I know the real work comes with lifestyle changes. It just seems like not a lot of people talk about working on yourself emotionally in addition to the physical stuff.  Obviously I still have a lot to change, but first let me take a #selfie.

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SSC: Katie’s Attempts at Self-Control

My sister and I might pop in with a few updates here and there, but today I want to talk about self-control and how terrible I am at it.

When you are my size (20) there are lots of things that toss you onto the Struggle Bus. Self-control is my biggest problem.  Oh Lord, how I struggle with it. I have almost no self-control and it’s something that I try to work on all the time.  I am a dreamer and I dream big. When I start something, I go all in…and lose interest and steam.  Bearing that in mind, I wanted to start this challenge small and build up. I also wanted new habits to coincide with my new job.  I thought that the first thing I should do is start drinking an appropriate amount of water. I have probably spent the last 10 years super dehydrated, and since the first thing every article and “expert” says about weight loss is to drink water I decided to get to it. I bought this water bottle (mostly because I just liked it, not because I didn’t have any). I liked that I can twist off the top 1/3 of the bottle to add ice and it helps it fit into the dishwasher.  The bottom portion holds about 20 ounces so it’s easy for me to keep track of how much I get in.

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Also, my office has this water fountain that I get nerdily giddy about everyday.  It isn’t just an ordinary water fountain that you fight with to fill up your water bottle because the stream is so short that you can never get it actually full.  No, my friends. This thing is made to fill up your personal beverage containers. It also tallies how many plastic water bottles your facility is saving on a little screen at the top. As of this posting, our office has saved over 3000 bottles in a about 2 months.

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I recently read that you should drink half your weight in ounces and +20 ounces if you are trying to lose weight.  I thought that was a bag of crock (ie. crock of shit, if you aren’t my sister).  Wasn’t it supposed to be 64 ounces?  Apparently no, it can be anything from 1/2 to 1 ounce of water per pound you weigh.  So I’m looking at a lot of water here.

The other tactic I’m using to curb my desires is to keep food at work.  My new job (oh yeah, I got a new job) has given me a work space with way more storage than I need.  I have 2 huge drawers basically just there to look like I keep files, but they only hold my purse and snacks.  I shoot for healthy snacks that will keep me full or at least bridge the gap between meals so I don’t overdo it when I finally get to eat.  Here is a shot of my drawer as of today.

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I keep the oatmeal to have for breakfasts.  I just cook it in my mug and rinse the mug when I’m done. That usually lasts me until lunch.   After lunch, I get bored and probably dehydrated so I want to snack on something.  I try to make this as convenient and perhaps fake-decadent as possible. So I have some Dark Mocha Almond Kashi bars and pineapple cups.  The apple is left over from my lunch at Panera. I want to make all of this as enjoyable as possible because I often find joy in eating and most of the time I’m enjoying food that is not that healthy. So if I make it so I don’t feel like I’m missing out, I might stick with this long enough to make it a habit.

I also keep cold medicine because receptionists get all the germs from all the visitors and only a select few callers enjoy speaking to Darth Vader.

One of the biggest quandaries I face when thinking about losing weight is making it click.  I have always wanted to ask people who have lost large amounts (or maybe any amount) how and when they decided to do it for real. What changed?  I’ve gone through phases where I commit myself and then lose steam and go back to my bad habits. I really don’t want to do that anymore.

So how about you?  What healthy habits have you picked up? What are you struggling with right now? I’m struggling with not getting Chipotle.  Futile, I know.